HAPPY (4 some) NEW (begining) (light)YEARS(away)

Well New Years Eve is upon us . Its a time for great celebration all over the world. A new beginning a redo if you will . Its the biggest party of the year. I, no doubt will have celebration all around me, but even in a crowd I will be alone . Some of you know what I mean and some of you have no idea. Couples everywhere; as the clock strikes 12; will draw each other near and embrace in a passionate kiss. That will not be the case for my lover and I. My mind wanders as I try to picture how she will ring in the new year without me . I know that at midnight her mind will drift to us and she will be filled with that same lonely feeling that has plagued us both throughout our relationship. That longing to touch and be touched. The need to hold one another and kiss that kiss of new hope , new beginning. That yearly kiss that promises "I will love you forever". No, for us that new beginning will have to wait. Although our new years will be no doubt filled with loneliness . When that first kiss of the new year finally comes . It will taste so much sweeter. The rest of the world will fall away and it will be just us two. Finally our chance ,our turn to shine. The moment our eyes meet our hearts will be overflowing with an unparalleled passion . It will make all the waiting seem worth every second. So in closing I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year. I know mine will be. When you read this my Love, remember You are the Queen of my dreams, and my love for you knows no boundaries.

Kowboyfromhell the Man...

My real name is irrelevant...But some of you maybe wondering how I got this name . If not tuff shit I'm gonna tell you anyway. Its complicated but here goes..When I was a kid my heroes were always cowboys ,The Duke, Clint Eastwood, etc...As an adult I joined the 101st Airborne (1/506 CURRAHEE!) and was sent to hell twice. The things Ive done and the things Ive seen done will haunt my mind forever. There is no escape;HELL.. but that is just the tip of the iceberg .During my second deployment my marriage of 12 years unraveled;HELL..Then I met another woman who ultimately broke my heart after I returned home. I was dead inside;HELL..Now I find myself in a situation that continues to torment me, I met and fell deeply in love with the woman Ive always dreamed about,She is the one that picked up the peices of my shatterd heart and breathed life into me once again. She is perfect to me in every way. Smart, Funny, Beautiful, Sexy as hell. We share each others hopes and dreams. She is without question my soul mate. Due to complications in my life I could not be with her for the holidays;HELL.. I continue to let her down in small ways, she doesn't say so but I feel it. I fear that I am running my dreams into the ground and I don't know how to stop it and that is the biggest HELL of them all. I'm slowly destroying my shot at Heaven and that my friends is;HELL. So when you wonder where I'm coming from? Its HELL... Hence the name Kowboyfromhell