The Queen of My Dreams

Its been almost a year since my last entry , so much has happened I don't know where to start. I am still with the same wonderful woman . I am humbled by her , the only thing I have found that matches my love for her is Her love for me. Yes , Unconditional love. Yes it does exist, I still hang my head in shame by the ways I have wronged her emotionally and though I don't deserve it, her Love for me is relentless. I have never in my life felt unconditional love from a woman . It is indeed an amazing feeling. There are times when I feel that its too good to be true. Like I'm living a dream and I'm gonna wake up any second, but thankfully that wake up never comes. I have tried in so many ways to express my love for her. The words "I Love You" don't even come close to the feelings in my heart. The fact is I've never felt like this before, I didn't know it could be like this. I'm not just talking about how I feel about her , but the way she makes me feel inside. The fact that she doesn't have to say a word when she looks at me I see the love in her eyes. Or when she kisses me, I can feel the love flowing out of her. She overflows my heart with a love that I thought I was incapable of. I am so grateful to her everyday for the love and undying support she gives to me. She believes in me even when I don't believe in myself. I only wish there were other words I could say to her besides "I Love You" to tell her whats really on my mind and in my heart. I only hope that she can see and feel the love I have for her , they way I see and feel it coming from her. She is by far the most incredible woman I have ever known. That is why I have asked for her hand in marriage. I cannot wait to take her as my wife and make her "The Queen of My Dreams" forever. I truly Love you Tiffany, You are remarkable, I'm so happy that your mine.

This Post is dedicated to the 1/506 INFANTRY REG. 101st AIRBORNE . Good Luck , and God speed . I hope you download this and play it before every mission . I Love you all. Remember you ARE Indestructible. CURRAHEE!!! Gunfighter 2/3 T.O.M out.

Remembering Band of Brothers

This is a video of my trip to Afghanistan, 506 Inf Reg. 101st Abn , 2nd PLT Cco.

"We few,We happy few, we Band of Brothers , For he who sheds his blood with me today, shall be my Brother.

Wake up America

I am deeply troubled by all the support that seems to be pouring out to Haiti. Don't get me wrong I feel for them. I am not without compassion. However I am sick to death over all this oh help Haiti shit. Give me a fucking break .What about the United States of America? What about the suffering that goes on daily in this country that everyone who pretends to "care" turns a blind eye to. How many of the help Haiti bandwagon has sent a package to a deployed solider?(Those guys don't have their Fuckin hand out, and Believe me they suffer in ways you will never know.) Or how many have given to their local food pantry ? They see the need but do nothing. Or better yet how many of them would take a Haitian family into their home only to come home and find the dog headless and their guests writing on their ceramic floor with a chicken foot. I'm not saying don't help ,but Charity begins at home. Like I said they see the need but do nothing, they are nothing more than lemmings following the group. "Oh Boo Hoo Haiti had an earthquake." We have earthquakes too but no body comes running to help us . Think about , 9-11? nothing, Katrina? nothing. Hurricane Andrew ? nothing . But the minute some other country needs help its , "oh those poor people we gotta help them " never mind the 4 homeless you pasted on the way to the bank .You probably didn't even see them or you pretended not to. I'm not heartless I help when I can . Wake Up!!! If we stop running to every ones aid they will stop expecting it. The people of Haiti cant get their head out of their ass long enough to build any kind of infrastructure , they live in bamboo huts , Well not anymore thanks to the good ol U S of A now they will be living better than some of you. If you don't like what I had to say tonight , Too fucking bad. I am a combat tested Defender of Freedom. including freedom of speech so Your comments are welcome because I defend your right to tell me to fuck off and burn my Flag. God Bless America and nowhere else.

HAPPY (4 some) NEW (begining) (light)YEARS(away)

Well New Years Eve is upon us . Its a time for great celebration all over the world. A new beginning a redo if you will . Its the biggest party of the year. I, no doubt will have celebration all around me, but even in a crowd I will be alone . Some of you know what I mean and some of you have no idea. Couples everywhere; as the clock strikes 12; will draw each other near and embrace in a passionate kiss. That will not be the case for my lover and I. My mind wanders as I try to picture how she will ring in the new year without me . I know that at midnight her mind will drift to us and she will be filled with that same lonely feeling that has plagued us both throughout our relationship. That longing to touch and be touched. The need to hold one another and kiss that kiss of new hope , new beginning. That yearly kiss that promises "I will love you forever". No, for us that new beginning will have to wait. Although our new years will be no doubt filled with loneliness . When that first kiss of the new year finally comes . It will taste so much sweeter. The rest of the world will fall away and it will be just us two. Finally our chance ,our turn to shine. The moment our eyes meet our hearts will be overflowing with an unparalleled passion . It will make all the waiting seem worth every second. So in closing I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year. I know mine will be. When you read this my Love, remember You are the Queen of my dreams, and my love for you knows no boundaries.

Kowboyfromhell the Man...

My real name is irrelevant...But some of you maybe wondering how I got this name . If not tuff shit I'm gonna tell you anyway. Its complicated but here goes..When I was a kid my heroes were always cowboys ,The Duke, Clint Eastwood, etc...As an adult I joined the 101st Airborne (1/506 CURRAHEE!) and was sent to hell twice. The things Ive done and the things Ive seen done will haunt my mind forever. There is no escape;HELL.. but that is just the tip of the iceberg .During my second deployment my marriage of 12 years unraveled;HELL..Then I met another woman who ultimately broke my heart after I returned home. I was dead inside;HELL..Now I find myself in a situation that continues to torment me, I met and fell deeply in love with the woman Ive always dreamed about,She is the one that picked up the peices of my shatterd heart and breathed life into me once again. She is perfect to me in every way. Smart, Funny, Beautiful, Sexy as hell. We share each others hopes and dreams. She is without question my soul mate. Due to complications in my life I could not be with her for the holidays;HELL.. I continue to let her down in small ways, she doesn't say so but I feel it. I fear that I am running my dreams into the ground and I don't know how to stop it and that is the biggest HELL of them all. I'm slowly destroying my shot at Heaven and that my friends is;HELL. So when you wonder where I'm coming from? Its HELL... Hence the name Kowboyfromhell